Being a parent reveals the schism between who you are and who you have to be.
***
I do not enjoy, and never have enjoyed, playing so-called games. I simply do not give two shits whether I win or lose or you win or lose and I steadfastly refuse to pretend otherwise. Fake enjoyment is for fake people.
"The tenderness I once felt for you has dissolved in the acid of your indifference. I do not wish you harm but I certainly wouldn’t mind if some terrible hardship were to befall you. If that makes me a nasty piece of work then so be it. I can handle that. What I can’t handle is you thinking I don’t matter. I do matter and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it."
***
Yes, I have experienced transcendence. No, it doesn’t matter. Nothing ever does. You would have to experience transcendence for yourself to really appreciate what I mean. Or you could just take my word for it. Either way is good.
***
The tenderness I once felt for you has dissolved in the acid of your indifference. I do not wish you harm but I certainly wouldn’t mind if some terrible hardship were to befall you. If that makes me a nasty piece of work then so be it. I can handle that. What I can’t handle is you thinking I don’t matter. I do matter and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
***
You are what you perceive or maybe say you are the frame within which perceiving happens. Either way you are assuredly not a human being. This knowledge, truly known, is the terrifying passage to liberation. In other words: your freedom requires nothing less than your total annihilation.
***
The more obscure and prolix the philosophy the higher the esteem it is held in, which is precisely the obverse of what any reasonable person would expect. But since when did the expectations of reasonable people matter? In the end we get the philosophy we deserve.
***
Beliefs are foisted on us continuously. We have no choice but to assimilate them as best we can. This work is never finished. That is why we are only ever provisionally who we say we are.
Noah Blue
First published on Noah Blue, March 2026.
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