Animal chat

Cat to dog: it's your breath, I just can't stand it.

Dog to cat: wow, that was churlish.

Cat to dog: sorry, but wouldn't you rather I told you? There are good treatments for halitosis these days, inexpensive ones as well.

Dog to cat: okay, yeah, thanks I guess?

Cat to dog: don't mention it.

***

Frog 1: for eff’s sake, you’re eating all the flies in my vicinity.

Frog 2: sorry, what?

Frog 1: I’m saying i can’t get a look in. Can’t you take your absurdly long tongue somewhere else? I mean this is a big pond with zero other frogs in it, so why do you need to sit right next to me?

Frog 2: sorry, do you own this rock I am sitting on?

Frog 1 (pause for thought): no.

Frog 2: well then legally you have no basis for complaining.

Frog 1 (muttering): greedy bastard.