Regarding so-called spirituality

Is meditation a con trick? Why, precisely, is it good for us to wilfully attune ourselves to the so-called present moment? Doesn't it just make us irritable and tense, forever going around wishing that our thoughts weren't distracting us from the present moment, even though the most distracting thought of all is this very thought!?

Do you wonder why gurus charge so much for their videos, retreats, books etc? Where does the money go? Where is the financial transparency? Who are these gurus anyway - what right do they have to make claims about a form of knowledge that is conveniently unfalsifiable?

Does mindfulness = suppression of thoughts and feelings? No. Well then what does it mean when we tell someone to return to the breath when a thought or emotion arises?

What does it mean to say you can watch a thought? A thought requires a thinker, no? Without the thinker thinking it there is no thought. Who else is the thinker of that thought other than you? How can you therefore at the same time watch the thought that you are busy thinking?

Death. Admit it you are scared of it. All this BS about spirituality is ultimately a desperate attempt to evade your inevitable demise, well isn't it?

Spirituality is selfish, no? All this indulgent sitting around and fancy talk when there are useful things you could be doing to contribute to society, to making things better. Breathing happens all by itself, do you really need to spend so much time dwelling on it?

Do you trust people when they say they have had an awakening or even more conceitedly, claim to ‘abide in’ an awakened state? Does it feel like they are deluded to you, that they want to claim some form of special status? Do you feel yourself compelled to do likewise? Is this a healthy state of affairs?

Do you find the ardent nature of a Buddhist monk's commitment frighteningly delusional? Do you wonder if they are running from something? Why is their commitment to the dharma so complete? Surely the Buddha was a sceptic, why are they so credulous then? Can they not admit that it might all be a crock of shit? Would the Buddha be ashamed of the followers who bow to representations of him? Would the Buddha want an ‘ism’ in his name? Isn’t an ‘ism’ the very antithesis of what he stood for?

What is enlightenment really? Is it what you've convinced yourself it should be? No. Are you sure?

Why can't the experience of enlightenment be rendered clearly in prose? Why the ineffability? Isn't it a little too convenient to say you can't describe the enlightened state? Can't you at least try? What are you afraid of, I mean ‘really, deep down’ afraid of?